It’s a new year and you have set a few goals, made a couple of new year resolutions, and even written down a dream you hope to accomplish in the year ahead. Here’s the bad news.
Your goals will not be accomplished, your new year resolutions will be abandoned two weeks into January and your dream will continue to be nothing more than a figment of your imagination. The reason?
The vast majority of our failure in life comes from not aligning our intentions with our values. For example, many people want to lose weight. They might set goals for how much weight they will lose every week, create healthy eating plans, purchase a gym membership and research workouts that fit their abilities but the one thing they fail to do — align their goals with their values.
Most people want to lose weight so they can return to their past. I would love to see the stats on how much weight is attempted to be lost due to upcoming high school class reunions. One day we look in the mirror and don’t recognize the plump face that looks back at us so we create a goal to return to the past. But why? Because we think that our looks determine our worth. But we don’t really believe this because if we believed it, it would become a value. We don’t believe it, not deeply, which is why we give up on our weight loss. The goal was established on a desire that never was grounded in a deeply held belief which makes up our values.
If you want to lose weight, you must tie it to a deeply held belief or value. I love my children. I want to be able to sit on the floor for more than five minutes at a time and play with my son without my back hurting. To turn this hope into reality I need to not only lose weight, I need to create a specific plan to help strengthen my core and create better flexibility in my body. My value (love of my children) awakens me to a desire/frustration (I want to play with my son but am unable to for extended amounts of time due to my body) so I set a goal and target it specifically with a plan that will allow me to fulfill my value.
My value will drive me to the finish line or it will expose a higher value which could be that I love myself and my comfort more than I love my son and the discipline it will take to enjoy loving him through playing together.
Wow. That’s some tough words to chew on. But if you chew thoroughly you will end up setting better goals and you will end up doing two very important things:
- You will get to know yourself a lot more deeply
- You will set better goals and accomplish more
Are the goals you set for 2016 tied to your deeply held values? What does that look like for you?